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The Lord Jesus Christ, in teaching us the Our Father, left us a perfect rule, both for our prayer and for our conduct. In this prayer, we ask our heavenly Father: “And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us” (Mt 6:12). The clear sense of these words is that God will forgive our trespasses, that is, our sins, on the condition that we will forgive those who have sinned against us. And this is the same message which we heard in the Gospel of the Feast of All Saints: “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy” (Mt 5:7). We find in these words the logic of charity which is often repeated in the Gospels and summarizes in itself the law and the prophets: “So whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them” (Mt 7:12) and in another passage, “and the measure you give will be the measure you get” (Mt 7:2). Consequently, mercy is pervaded in a wonderful way with justice: we merit it for ourselves in the measure in which we bestow it upon others. Forgiveness, more than a simple choice, becomes a duty for those who want to be forgiven and admitted into the kingdom of heaven.
Today’s Gospel shows us an extreme example of a lack of compassion. One man’s enormous debt of ten thousand talents is forgiven by his master. Upon leaving this fortunate meeting with own master, he runs into a fellow servant who owes him one hundred denarii, a sum much smaller than what was previously forgiven him. But this servant closes his heart to his debtor, and—unmindful of the good just shown him by his master—grabs him by the neck with the intention of suffocating him, and in the end, gets him placed in prison.
Certainly, the example from the Gospel is a bit extreme: probably none of us has ever done something exactly like this. Nevertheless, it is not easy to forgive, and we are rather inclined to hold a grudge against someone who has offended us. Based on the facts, we are often not very merciful towards others: in fact, often, we forget the damage which we’ve suffered and, like the Ancient Egyptians who preserved their tears in vials to remember the wrongs done to them, we look to others with bitterness, and we wish revenge on them until they are punished for their actions.
For us monks, it is rather easy to fall into this attitude. Maybe a brother has offended me with his words or a superior has made a decision concerning me which doesn’t seem just. From that moment onwards, I can no longer look at that brother objectively; in fact, my opinion of him is tainted by the resentment which I have for him. To consider him objectively, I need to become detached from the offense I have received and from the consequent feelings which spring from it; in a certain sense, I need to renounce myself in order to be able to forgive my brother.
But there are other cases in which mercy and understanding towards others is difficult. Sometimes we see that a brother receives special treatment. Maybe, due to some weakness or for a reason unknown to us, he is dispensed from matins, or he receives special food or a personal favor. It is very easy to think to ourselves: “why didn’t I get that, too?”; or, “why does this brother receive privileged treatment?” We judge that there has been some injustice, and we are not happy until we, too, get the same thing or until the injustice is openly recognized. But often in these moments, we, too, forget that sometimes we receive special treatment due to our weaknesses. And this, therefore, is one of the reasons why forgiveness is so difficult: because we forget the benefits which we have received, especially from God, the “Lord of the Universe”, as we prayed in the Introit. Thus, the psalmist exhorts his soul, saying:
“Bless the Lord, O my soul; and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the Pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy…As a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust” (Ps 103:2-4, 13-14).
The Lord is quick to forgive, says the Psalm, because we men are taken from the ground, and often make mistakes. “Remember, o man, that you are dust and to dust you shall return” (Gen 3:19), is what Holy Church reminds us at the beginning of Lent. Precisely because it is easy for us to make mistakes, we must also be ready to forgive.
St. Paul, in today’s epistle, offers us an additional insight that could help us forgive our brothers. “For we are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places” (Eph 6:12). The Pauline insight is this: that the evil which we receive from our brothers ultimately comes from the evil spirits who seek to harm us.
With eyes of faith, we must look beyond the wrongful action of our brother; we must realize that our brother is involved in a battle between good and evil (as we ourselves are) and our brother—just like us—sometimes falls, defeated. When he falls into sin, we can be merciless and leave him fallen on the ground; or we can offer him the hand of forgiveness and help him back up again. But before closing our hearts and refusing forgiveness, let us remember well the words of the Savior: “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart” (Mt 18:35).